CARRY ON

Thanks

2009-01-31T12:40:00.003-05:00

After writing this article over the summer, I was asked to speak with the North Attleboro High School Gay-Straight Alliance.

I met with them on Tuesday, and cannot give enough thanks for the invite. They're an amazing group of teens that have been through a lot. The spiritual dimension of their struggles once again reminds me of how far the church has to go in having these conversations.

Now this was a benediction

2009-01-20T12:06:00.002-05:00

The Colors in My Dreams

2009-01-19T00:48:00.004-05:00

Yusef Komunyakaa

Washington Post

On the eve of the first African American president being sworn into office, a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet reflects on the personal politics of skin color.

My first poetry paper in college was on Komunyakaa's "Facing It."

Enjoy more of his compelling words.

Why?

2009-01-15T20:48:00.001-05:00

Somerville, MA

Weather Forecast 1/16/09

6 a.m.

2 degrees F

Feels like -12 degrees F

Boo

2009-01-11T17:48:00.002-05:00

Well, at least thanks for bringing another Nat'l Championship to the SEC. Now go away.

More Colbert

2009-01-10T18:05:00.002-05:00

While we're on Colbert, I meant to post this segment with Peter Gomes back in September. Gomes is the senior minister at Harvard's Memorial Church and a prof at HDS.

He also happens to be one of the few people I've ever seen leave Colbert speechless. I'm a little speechless that our preaching professor talked about the missionary position on national television, but here ya go.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Peter J. Gomes

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Yahweh or No Way...Genius.

2009-01-10T17:39:00.009-05:00

It's as if Colbert just sat through four months of Hebrew Bible with Michael Coogan. Our class turned in our final papers yesterday (complete with much mention of Yahweh), so this segment is particularly timely.

The Golden Calf is my favorite.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Yahweh or No Way - Roland Burris

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Happy Birthday Holz

2009-01-07T18:35:00.005-05:00

In honor of your 26th, here's to your favorite nail polish...

OPI's "Oh to Be 25 Again"

Love you forever.

Sad

2009-01-07T18:32:00.004-05:00

So much for one more year, but we had a good run...

Stafford, Moreno leave Georgia for draft

ESPN

Dumb Quote of the Day

2009-01-07T13:21:00.003-05:00

This quote likely was and is taken out of context, so forgive me David Landry, but here's your statement.

"It's more costly for youth in the Northeast to have a teen birth than for youth in the South, in terms of opportunities they'll miss," he said.

This quote came from a Newsweek.com article, "Mississippi Has Highest Teen Birthrate, says CDC."

Mississippi has surged passed New Mexico and Texas in teen births. Statistically, New England has the lowest teen birthrate.

And apparently, according to David Landry of the Guttmacher Institute (which is in NY, by the way), it's more of a tragedy for a Northeast teen to get knocked up than a Southern one. I mean, Southerners don't really have opportunities anyway, so what's one little unplanned pregnancy. Hopefully, my sarcasm is evident.

This may just be part of my strange resurgence of Southern pride (of which I was previously ambivalent and shy) while a sojourner in Boston. I confess my increasing antagonism toward Northeast elitism while I reside among Northeast elitists.

Happy End of Christmas

2009-01-06T16:46:00.003-05:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker

www.cartoonchurch.com

El Seis de Enero. Twelfth Day of Christmas. El Día de los Reyes Magos. Epiphany (which, by the way, is where the name Tiffany is derived).

What Happened Bama?

2009-01-03T13:15:00.002-05:00

Not the way to represent the SEC...

Utah 31, Alabama 17

Who knew Andre Smith would be missed so much?

Commentators were also quick to notice the similarities between this game and the painful 2006 Sugar Bowl between Georgia and West Virginia.

I'm still arguing for playoffs. The BCS is beyond tired.

And the Survey Says

2008-12-28T12:44:00.008-05:00

This summer, I did an article in response to new survey results from Pew Forum on Religion and Public life. Among other things, the survey found that overwhelmingly, Americans believe in God. It also found that a large majority of us believe that other religions, other than our own, can lead to eternal life. This even rang true for evangelicals, whose churches generally adhere to the doctrine that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, and the only way to heaven.

Many asked Pew whether people understood the question. In response, they asked the question again in August, releasing the results just last week.

Charles M. Blow did an op-ed column on the topic for today's NY Times. It's called "Heaven for the Godless?" and it's currently one of the most e-mailed items on the site.

Interesting NY Times article today; first in a three-part series

2008-12-28T12:27:00.004-05:00

Article by Laurie Goodstein

Owensboro, KY

Serving Short-Handed U.S. Parishes, Fathers Without Borders

As the Catholic Church in the U.S. struggles, they recruit international priests.

Here's my favorite quote:

"We experience the priest shortage, and rather than ask the question, 'Why do we have a priest shortage?' we just import some and act like we don't have a priest shortage," Father Holly said. "Until we face the issue of mandatory celibacy and the ordination of women, we can't deal with the lack of response to the invitation to priesthood."

Hard Year at the Village: Rest in Peace Bill

2008-12-19T19:08:00.001-05:00

Taggart II, William C., P.E.

Bill Taggart, 60, passed away December 16, 2008, in Denver. Bill, a Consulting Water Engineer, devoted his career to the public good by creating flood control, river reclamation, habitat protection, drainage, water feature and recreational projects that beautified and enriched the world. Bill held an MS from MIT, and a BS from DU.

He was a Certified Ski Instructor, taught at many ski areas in CO, and was a guide for OHG at Copper Mtn.

Bill loved his family, his work, his dogs, skiing, and going to new places. He is survived by his wife of 40 years, Naomi; children, Beth (Matt), Rebecca (Jeff), and Kevin; brother Tom; grandchildren, JJ, Julia, Claire and Keeley; and dogs, Mojo and Frankie.

A celebration of his life will be held at 1 p.m on Sunday, December 21, at Denver Botanic Gardens, 12th Ave and York St. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to: Children's Hospital Heart Transplant Clinic, The Myelin Project, Healthcare for All CO, or Warren Village.

Snow and Sunshine

2008-12-19T14:19:00.002-05:00

Boston is bracing for a blizzard and foot of snow tonight. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying a sunny 75 degrees in Carolina. It is at these times I realize why people relocate because "of the weather."

It also confirms my suspicion that that people who justify living in frozen tundras because "they love the seasons" are delirious.

However, I would love to be curled up on Molly's couch with Karen right about now, mooching off Molly's mad baking skills and hot chocolate supply.

Again, my career path looks precarious

2008-11-20T00:53:00.004-05:00

Photo by Essdras Suarez/Globe Staff

Historic Harvard Square newsstand may close after fifty years in business. Read.

Sad for historic landmarks and sad for the print journalism industry...

Myers-Briggs among other things

2008-11-20T00:40:00.003-05:00

Today was the first bitterly cold Boston day, the kind that make you wonder why anyone would ever move here.

Fortunately, you get to be around great people and it makes it better.

Besides my amazing HDS community, today brought two great lecturers: Stephen Prothero and N.T. Wright. Both are here for extended talks and appearances. Prothero's Belden lecture on wandering was just what I needed to hear, as I wander around theologically confused half the time these days.

Wright had a lunchtime discussion with us, and I must say that it's refreshing to meet the man Time calls "the world's leading New Testament scholar ", while he eats a bagged lunch and humbly discusses topics of our own choosing.

FYI, apparently N.T. Wright and I are both ENFJs.

American Muslims and the Election

2008-11-12T16:12:00.006-05:00

Photo by Platon. Featured in The New Yorker, September 29, 2008. Cited by Colin Powell in his endorsement of Barack Obama. See full photo essay.

Colin Powell, on Meet the Press, October 19, 2008:

I'm also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say. And it is permitted to be said such things as, 'Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.' Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is?

Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, 'He's a Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists.' This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo essay about troops who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery, and she had her head on the headstone of her son's grave. And as the picture focused in, you could see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards--Purple Heart, Bronze Star--showed that he died in Iraq, gave his date of birth, date of death. He was 20 years old. And then, at the very top of the headstone, it didn't have a Christian cross, it didn't have a Star of David, it had a crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, and he was an American. He was born in New Jersey. He was 14 years old at the time of 9/11, and he waited until he can go serve his country, and he gave his life.

See more about this topic at On Point with Tom Ashbrook.

Work to Be Done

2008-11-12T16:04:00.004-05:00

We may have elected the first Black President of the United States last week, but the fight for civil rights is far from over...

New York Times op-ed

BBC News article

Yes We Did

2008-11-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

Estoy nerviosísima about tomorrow. See, I've been listening in Spanish class.

2008-11-03T15:48:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow's monumental. Obvi.

And 3,000 miles away from me, California's Proposition 8 decision will also be monumental, having far-reaching effects on future civil rights cases.

My friend Jasmine has been working tirelessly to defeat Prop 8 with her organization The Progressive Project. Two weeks ago, I attended Jasmine and her partner's legal ceremony, held at a church here in Massachusetts, after their North Carolina wedding this summer. Until now, I had never found the signing of a marriage license to be a particularly exciting event.

Today, NPR had an interesting story with a religious angle to the controversy. Given my recent trip into the journalistic fray of homosexuality and the Church, I found it worth listening to. The last few moments, with the Oldhams' interview, is particularly touching. You can listen or read it here.

Meet Me in St. Louis

2008-07-30T17:02:00.003-04:00

Or more specifically, in Tiffany.

My moniker is shared with one of America's Next Hottest Neighborhoods, at least according to this year-old article from BusinessWeek.

"Tiffany is a historic district part of St. Louis' South City area, one of the city's most racially and ethnically diverse neighborhoods."

It's not just for mall singers and jewelry stores anymore.

I never have to get a real job. Sweet.

2008-07-25T17:24:00.003-04:00

I can put that post-graduate fear to rest, at least according to some:

"....the vast majority of those who publicly talk, think, and write about questions of gender equality, motherhood, and work in modern society are people who talk, think, and write for a living. And they tend to associate with other people, who, like themselves, do not have 'real' jobs--professors, journalists, authors, artists, politicos, pundits, foundation program officers, think-tank scholars, media personalities." --Nick Gilbert A Mother's Work: How Feminism, the Market and Policy Shape Family Life.

This proof-text came courtesy of the article, "I Choose My Choice," by Sandra Tsing Loh, in The Atlantic. I really enjoyed it, by the way, for all it brings up.

At HDS, we pride ourselves on lots of feminist buzzwords, worshipping in the shrine of ESF and G*D, digging into the Divine Sophia, liberation theology, while contemplating the post-feminist feminism of the third wave.

However, working my "unreal" job/internship this summer, I am doubting that the first wave of feminism hit some of our readers. Well, not really. But the comments posted below online stories hint to that effect. Though online comments are the bane of many an editor, they do permit people (much like my blogging self) to put in their own two sense, no matter how senseless.

Just this morning, I had a light article posted about a study which says girls now score just as well in math as boys. Yeah, yeah, kind of obvious, but apparently other studies used to say otherwise. For one reader, his lack of surprise was slightly different, as he wrote: "Now that the Oprahfication is nearly complete, and we've emasculated the next generations of boys with the 'everyone wins' culture, should this news suprise anyone?"

The Great Divorce

2008-07-15T16:08:00.004-04:00

"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

This is a story about two churches. It is a story about two churches who used to be one—more or less.

My part of the story began when I was sent to cover their story.

One church remains part of a so-called liberal, mainline Protestant tradition. Their membership is small, but committed. Their worship feels sacred, but solemn and subdued. They worry about being small. I imagine it’s difficult to afford their old building, with its stained glass windows and intricate woodwork. Their pastor is a woman, schooled at an Ivy-league, ecumenical seminary. (Ahh, yes, no similarities to myself…)

The other church doesn’t allow women to become priests. It split from the other congregation, becoming part of a wider and global conservative movement within the same Protestant tradition. They left, ostensibly because the greater Church was being less-than-literal about Scripture interpretation.

Really, they left when an openly gay man was elected as a bishop.

This church is growing. Rapidly. They just bought a new building (an abandoned mainline church building, to be exact), pumped almost 100 grand into its renovations. Their worship is loud and raucous, praise and worship songs led by a band. Their pastor is a Southerner, transplanted to New England. He went to a small, rather orthodox seminary.

This church has aligned itself with a bishop in Rwanda. The irony that an African bishop would be used by American priests to reinforce white, hetero-normative patriarchy is not lost on many.
The story of these two churches is a thread in the story of Anglicanism. But really, it’s the same story that’s repeated throughout much of Christianity.

“Liberal,” progressive church membership stays stagnant. “Conservative” church membership booms.

I have been and still am a part of both churches in various ways. There aren’t many bad people here. There are good people, committed to different, but maybe not so different, ideals.

I guess my problems started with the progressive church, which surprised me. I was annoyed that the progressive church just wouldn’t talk. They wanted to forget the painful split ever happened. They did not want to speak out for the rights of those they had supported.

The literalist church was all-too-willing to speak out against and for whatever they thought. No pandering to political correctness.

And then it dawned on me. It occurred to me why most people think that progressive Christians don’t exist. They don’t ever hear them speak.

In fact, most of my life I didn’t know progressive Christians existed, and I was one. With all the wisdom that a month of religion reporting can bring, I have observed the deafening opinions of fundamentalist leaders, and the shocking silence of progressive believers. Only a rabbi has spoken out to me, saying she believed in liberal religious voices being heard in the media.

It is also interesting, in this case, that the mainline church with the more open doors should be so closed-mouth about the situation. The minister lamented that it had been two years since the churches split. Can’t we just forget that this happened and move on?

Now, I know mainline churches, and indeed the Church, would like to forget a great deal about its history. History doesn’t work that way. In fact, mainline churches should be most aware of this fact, given what the term mainline means.

Let’s take this definition from the Religion Newswriters Association: “The term ‘mainline’ harks back to a time when this mostly white group was tied to the political and cultural establishment. Since the 1960s, membership in most mainline denominations has fallen precipitously, as has their influence.”

Dang.

Any church known as being so tied to the establishment probably has a lot they want to forget, but keeping all the skeletons in the closet probably isn’t the way to do it. (I could probably make a really bad ‘coming out of the closet’ pun here, but I’ll refrain.)

Garret Keizer wrote a really wonderful, in-depth article about some of this in Harper’s. This passage seems especially telling:

“Still the question remains: How does a Christian population implicated in militarism, usury, sweatshop labor, and environmental rape find a way to sleep at night? Apparently, by making a very big deal out of not sleeping with Gene Robinson [the openly gay bishop]. Or, on the flip side, by making approval of Gene Robinson the litmus test of progressive integrity, a stance that I have a good reason to believe would impress no one so little as Gene Robinson himself.”

In the end, the mainline church pleaded to have me not mention their name in the same article as the breakaway church. I did anyway, but only after agonizing over how to do it.

I hate everything I write about five minutes after I write it, but you can see the final product here. And yes, please feel free to make fun of the website.

This morning, to my surprise, the minister who had asked me in strongly-worded ways not to mention her congregation, left this message on my phone:

I have seen the article and I wanted to send you my compliments. You did a wonderful job with this. Also, I want to send our gratitude as a parish on the way in which you respected our wishes and were kind of able to put our heart in there. You did a wonderful job. You don't need to return this phone call. I just wanted to let you know that we send you our thanks and compliments. I hope the rest of the summer goes really well.

The other pastor left this message on our website:

I would like to thank Ms. Stanley and the Sun Chronicle for the excellent article. As usual the Chronicle has presented the public with a factual account representing a very complex situation. I must however offer one correction. While referencing the GAFCON gathering in Jerusalem Ms. Stanley described the bishops gathered as a "minority faction." The Global South bishops gathered there, over 100 from Africa, South America, Australia, Canada and the United States, represented over 40 million members of the Anglican Communion's 55 million members. No small faction. Other than this, however, the details were refreshingly accurate, following in the footsteps of Gloria Labounty. Well done, Tiffany!

I still say his numbers are wrong, but I appreciate the perspective nonetheless. I was prepared for some hate mail this morning, which I know I’ll eventually have to deal with. For now, I’m glad to sidestep that experience. I’m grateful that I was able to enter into worship with both “sides,” and realize that this isn’t just a two-sided issue after all.

Olympic Algae

2008-07-03T21:09:00.002-04:00

I was getting ready this morning when I heard my friend Stuart McNay on NPR, which made me feel almost famous.

Stu has way more reasons to feel famous, as he's a gold medal sailing hopeful in this summer's Olympics.

Too bad foul, green algae is taking over the coastline of Qingdao, China, where the regatta will take place.

Stu and his sailing partner were interviewed for the story.

You can hear the segment or read the transcript here.

RIP UGA VI

2008-07-01T23:05:00.003-04:00

Damn Good Dawg

The winningest of Georgia's mascots, UGA VI, died of heart failure on Saturday. Since UGA VI was the mascot during my own college years, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic. Soon the Seilers will announce his successor, who I'm sure will enjoy many seasons in his air-conditioned, sidelined dawghouse.

If You Think Cancer's Lame

2008-06-28T20:32:00.003-04:00

Then you should give this guy some money. He's biking across the country (from Alaska to Florida which is 5,000 miles) in four months. He's trying to raise money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. He just started fundraising, but he leaves tonight, so he could use some help.

I did a profile of him for Friday's paper, which you should read and find here.

If you don't get to the end, then just go to his webpage here. Click on the Livestrong icon and find his name, which is Stephen Laskey.

Religion Beat 101

2008-06-26T17:53:00.002-04:00

Apparently, Roman Catholic priests in Massachusetts do not want to talk to reporters. Go figure.

Why

2008-06-26T17:52:00.000-04:00

Did Georgia go and lose the College World Series?

Why

2008-06-24T23:09:00.001-04:00

Is Georgia trying to lose the College World Series?

This Week in Boston

2008-06-21T16:52:00.002-04:00

1. The Celtics.
Boston was really in need of another championship team. Thank you to all those drivers, riding by my house at 2 a.m., honking your horns.

2. Commute
Now that I have completed my first week as an official Boston commuter, I say to all Boston civil engineers and their ilk: For shame. 93 and 95? Seriously. For shame!

Oh, and I'm glad this commute is only for a summer internship. Those nine months of bragging about how little gas I go through are long gone.

Montage of Past Two Months

2008-06-21T16:42:00.004-04:00

Kentucky Derby Party. Div School Prom. FINALS (a.k.a. more papers in two weeks than I thought humanly possible). Holly's Bachelorette. Rehearsal Dinner. Holly and Davis get hitched!

Oh, and I had to go to a conference where I learned without a doubt that I am NOT a libertarian.

Update Coming Soon

2008-06-15T21:32:00.003-04:00

I was scolded recently for not posting. Now that summer is here, finals are over, and three weeks of travel have ended, I promise to start putting some stuff up!

Albino Squirrel

2008-04-26T11:08:00.003-04:00

This is Emerson, the albino squirrel who lives on Francis Avenue, near the Div School. He's a little photo-shy, but I think he goes nicely with the Canadian squirrel from my August 31 post.

So this is why people do things like go to Harvard Divinity School

2008-04-09T22:49:00.002-04:00

Because you get to have dinner across from Ari Goldman and listen to E.J. Dionne talk about how much he admires Harvey Cox.

Carolina Barbeque

2008-04-06T00:29:00.002-04:00

Continuing the theme of my home state's food, here's a 2001 article by Jack Hitt, noted and prolific freelancer, and a South Carolinian to boot.

The article documents the mustard-based sauce, and the battle of the Bessinger brothers. For the record, Maurice Bessinger dominates my neck of the woods. In high school, I vividly remember his racist activism and grocery-store fall from grace. Despite somewhat successful boycotts of his bottled sauce, his expanding chain of restaurants, which now number twelve, seem to be doing just fine.

Spring Break

2008-04-06T00:14:00.002-04:00

Documented Almost Entirely with Food

Home Sweet Home and the Lowcountry

Pictured: Beaufort Stew, Fried Green Tomatoes, She-crab soup, Boiled Peanuts

Aging This Week Before My Time

2008-03-24T15:06:00.004-04:00

Reason One:

Apparently, I can no longer pull consecutive all-nighters. Instead of sleeping it off later, I just get sick. I am not 18. This fact was made even clearer when I was working on my midterms at Lamont, the 24-hour, undergraduate library. Feeling like crap at 2 am while surrounded by perky undergrads will make anyone feel old.

Reason Two:

On the way to said library, I passed a flyer for a 90s party at one of the dorms. A 90s party. Your generation's music only becomes truly outdated when people throw themed parties about it. Not that 'NSync and company were ever not dated.

I am in the prime of youth! Maybe this is what happens when you go back to school, but at least you get spring break. I plan on regaining my youth this week at the beach.

Who Knew?

2008-03-16T23:00:00.002-04:00

Part One, The Good News of Who Knew

Who knew Georgia's b-ball team is capable of winning the SEC championship? We're making good, all Hoosiers-style. It's the first time in my UGA career that we've had something to be really proud of in the world of basketball, especially considering I came of collegiate age in the school's Harrick era.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/champweek2008/columns/story?columnist=schlabach_mark&id=3297194

Part Two, The Bad News of Who knew

Who knew that today, of all days, in the prime of my insane mid-terms, my PC would decide to internally combust? Yep, that's right. My hard drive completely died. This message is coming to you courtesy of roommate's computer. The techno guys took a look at mine and said, "No way. Irretrievable." Think sad-Mac, Sex in the City episode. On the bright side, for once, I had more data backed up than I thought, and I was planning on getting a Mac this summer. Three more months, I lamented! Still, my amazing mother came to the rescue, letting me commandeer a new laptop, which will become her laptop this summer in the wake of my exit from the PC world forever.

Bill James

2008-03-13T22:43:00.003-04:00

People seem to love him or hate him. Charles Long called him a "dabbler" during his amazing guest lecture last week. Nevertheless, in one of our required courses, we just covered a bit of philosophy/psychology, Harvard extraordinaire William James. In honor of that fact , I'd like to point out that James got stuck with one ugly building named after him. See Exhibit A. It's located down the street from the Div School, as is his former private residence. See Exhibit B. However, William James Hall was apparently designed Minoru Yamasaki, who's immensely famous and talented for about a million reasons, so what do I know. I still say the 60s and 70s were not so good for Harvard campus architecture. The Science Center, anyone?

Harper

2008-03-06T23:20:00.002-05:00

On a much less depressing note than my two previous posts...

Last week, as happens on a monthly basis, it was my turn to lead the noon service at the hospital. The music consisted entirely of Ben Harper songs. I consider this the pinnacle in my chaplaincy worship-leading experiences.

And no, as a dear friend asked, I did not go so far as to play "Burn One Down." That may have sent Father Bob over the edge...

Finally March

2008-03-03T22:22:00.003-05:00

February has long been my cursed month, or so I like to tell myself. I told Mom my theory a couple years ago, how I feel that our family never does well with February. Bad news. Bad weather. The last weeks of winter drag on. Now I've moved to a part of the country where winter drags on and on, doesn't even need February's help. Basically, I walk around the whole of February acting like the proverbial anvil will drop on my head any minute. I am not in a good mood. I'm sure there is a self-fulfilling prophecy in here somewhere.

It's also Lent, the forty days of grief, so to speak. Or at least that's how I've always seen it. I've been thinking about grief a lot lately. I always do this time of year, at least in the almost four years since we lost Sonny. I had an epiphany during Lent that year. I had run out of hope for miracles. Sonny had told me he prayed for God's will, like in the Garden of Gethsemane. Right before Easter, while he slept on the hospital bed in our living room where the couch used to be, I knew. I knew he would die and somehow we would survive. I just let go. Just a little. But a little was a lot.

I'm taking a counseling class on Grief, Trauma and Loss. Combine that with my work at the hospital and it's a regular 24/7 broadcast of grief. It's good work, but tough work. It brings up a lot of stuff.

One of the articles for that class quoted an Anna Quindlen column. I once read an Anna Quindlen book, which talked about her mother's death when she was a teen. I read it in the waiting room while Mom had surgery to remove her cancer. I was a senior in high school. This was also February/March. You can notice a pattern. Anyway, the article for class quoted this:

"My mother died when I was nineteen," Quindlen wrote. "For a long time, it was all you needed to know about me, a kind of vestpocket description of my emotional complexion: 'Meet you in the lobby in ten minutes--I have long brown hair, am on the short side, have on a red coat, and my mother died when I was nineteen.'"

Well, I don't have a red coat, but I definitely relate. To be accurate, you can substitute: "my stepfather died when I was twenty," or "my mother got sick when I was seventeen," or "my father almost died when I was twenty-one." Any of the above, or perhaps all of the above, encapsulate my emotional state these days.

On a happier note, Lent is also my anniversary with Divinity School. I visited my Duke, Yale and Harvard during February of last year. I remember getting ashes at YDS. They smeared while I slept on the train back to Boston. I guess some years, the anvils are lighter than others.

Losses

2008-03-03T22:15:00.001-05:00

I think a lot about losses this time of year. (See above post.) As of late, the community of Warren Village has incurred more losses than I have. I think I've been a little paralyzed to process some of this news. Again, see above post. Due to the following untimely deaths, please keep the staff, residents, volunteers and these families in your prayers or thoughts or whatever practice you have:

1.) A Former Resident and her family, who took their 7-year-old off of life support last month. Words mean so little right now, but he was a "favorite" of so many at the Village. He was an absolute joy and I find no sense in the loss.

2.) A Former Resident, who died in January and leaves behind two children

3.) The Schwartz Family
Tracy Collins Schwartz was one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. She was a wonderful and longtime volunteer at Warren Village, who I had the pleasure of working with during my two years there. I understand her illness and death were very sudden, and she leaves behind a devoted husband and three young children, as well as a legacy of community activism. The guestbook and her obit can be seen here:
http://legacy.denverpost.com/denverpost/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=103579568

New Semester

2008-02-10T23:20:00.000-05:00

New classes + field education = no sleep and/or no life.

If I can just figure out how to read at the speed of light...

Naw, it isn't really that bad. New posts coming soon.

Heath Ledger died

2008-01-22T17:56:00.000-05:00

And I am abnormally disturbed by this fact. Not that his death shouldn't be mourned but it's not like the Aussie and I were close, personal friends. Colleen and I have been texting over our mutual sadness. Maybe it's because he was our teenage heartthrob in 10 Things I Hate About You. Maybe it's because he reentered our adult lives in Brokeback Mountain and we cried straight through the whole, darn thing. Either way, I am saaaaaaad. Rest in Peace, Heath.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech

2008-01-22T17:54:00.001-05:00

Still so relevant and here's the full-length version. It runs 17:27 minutes. If you want to skip ahead a little, I'd recommend after about 10 minutes, when it gets even more awe-inspiring and chill-inducing--if that's even possible.

Hospital Chaplaincy Overnight, Part 3

2008-01-19T00:55:00.000-05:00

So when I signed up for Divinity School, I had no idea this would entail wheeling a dead body around the morgue at midnight. Go figure.

Finals

2008-01-14T22:54:00.000-05:00

"That celestial, sweet set of instructions, culminating in the scary wonder of the Final Exam. And what is the Final Exam? A test of one's deepest understanding of giant concepts. No wonder so many adults long to return to university, to all those deadlines--ahhh, that structure! Scaffolding to which we may cling! Even if it is arbitrary, without it, we're lost, wholly incapable of separating the Romantic from the Victorian in our sad, bewildering lives..."

-From Special Topics in Calamity Physics, a novel by Marisha Pessl

Harvard gives its students the dubious honor of having to take finals after winter break. Dubious indeed.

Apparently, they are changing the calendar for the first time during the 2009-2010 academic year--my last year at the university. Here's what the official e-mail this summer had to say about finally having a normal final schedule and calendar:

"The new calendar will bring Harvard much closer to the practice at the great majority of other universities, including research universities comparable to Harvard. The very fact that so many institutions have adopted similar calendars and maintained them over many years suggests that there are no practical problems of sufficient magnitude to militate against the change. On the contrary, inquiries we have made of officials in peer institutions reveal widespread satisfaction with calendars similar to the one we are adopting."

My now Harvard-educated response to this would be: A-duh.

The SEC takes the national title from Ohio State...again

2008-01-08T16:52:00.000-05:00

AP also ranks Georgia #2, thankyouverymuch. Plus, even Michael Adams cares about having playoffs.

Congrats to LSU, but here are some thoughts about my completely biased favorite...

Associated Press: "Right behind the Tigers, who received 60 of 65 first-place votes from the media panel, was another Southeastern Conference team. Georgia was No. 2, making the SEC the first league since the Big 8 in 1971 to have the top two teams in the final AP poll...Georgia received three first-place votes, USC got one and so did No. 7 Kansas. The last time four teams received first-place votes in the final AP poll was after the 1977 season, when No. 1 Notre Dame, No. 2 Alabama, No. 3 Arkansas and No. 4 Texas split up the top votes. It was the first time a team with two losses finished No. 1."

Ivan Maisel, ESPN.com on the Sugar Bowl, with a final score of 41 to 10: "Were this not the BCS era, Georgia could make its case for No. 1 and Hawaii never would have been subjected to this humiliation. It would be too harsh to say that Hawaii undid all that Boise State accomplished a year ago, but the Warriors didn't do the WAC any favors. This is one matchup that was no matchup at all."

Mark Schlabach, ESPN.com: "The end of the 2007 college football season isn't even 24 hours behind us, after LSU blasted Ohio State 38-24 in the Allstate BCS Championship Game on Monday night. Yet it's already time to look ahead to the 2008 season. Georgia's players believed they should have played Ohio State for the national championship after finishing the regular season 10-2. After winning their last seven games, the Bulldogs had a good argument. So did USC, which bombed Illinois in the Rose Bowl presented by Citi. Georgia loses less talent than USC, LSU and Ohio State, so the Bulldogs are ranked No. 1 in the way-too-early 2008 preseason college football poll."

Home for the Holidays. It's 65 degrees. And glorious.

2007-12-20T13:28:00.000-05:00

Holiday Thoughts Part 1:

A). Apparently, if you do not sleep for four days (courtesy of packing, research papers and hospital chaplaincy overnights), then you will have the ability to sleep for 16 hours straight. Crazy. However, upon waking from said sleep marathon, you might be strangely disoriented to be in your childhood bedroom.

B). Half of my plane's luggage didn't make it on the plane in Boston. Since I haphazardly packed almost everything I own, this could be a problem. I used to be the queen of carry-ons, until those pesky liquid rules made it too difficult to travel with my entire Sephora collection. The bags have been found and are supposed to arrive via FedEx tomorrow morning. Good luck to that truck driver in finding our house and getting down two dirt roads. However, Mom said she recently bought an atlas and for the first time, our road is actually listed. Thanks to new, nearby Super-Walmart and surburban sprawl, we're moving on up in the geographic world.

C). Three generations of the O'Cain women have been trying to figure out which string of lights is broken on the Christmas tree. Simultaneously, we're discussing how best to make a birthday cake for Baby Jesus, for Mom's kindergarteners at Sunday School. I'm not making this up. It also occurs to me that my maternal half, meaning we O'Cains, are largely born without indoor voices.

Right Now

2007-12-14T04:23:00.000-05:00

Outside:
very thick blanket of snow and incessant sounds of snowplows

Inside:
not thick enough fleece blanket and the sound of my typing

16 pages down and 4 more to go...for this paper.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party Revisited

2007-12-02T23:41:00.000-05:00

Scott threw a lovely Holiday Gala, complete with hideous sweaters. Ok, so Kendra actually looks normal and beautiful, but you get the gist based on my Goodwill get-up. Jenn and Em--your sequins were sorely missed. Colleen, your Colfax shenanigans are always missed.

So we had a shot...a long shot

2007-12-02T23:33:00.000-05:00

Congrats to LSU making its way back to the top of the BCS (even if it is lame). Here's hoping this SEC team will give Ohio State the same treatment the Gators did last year. :)

And you can't spell Sugar without UGA.

I still don't think I've ever loved Kentucky more.

2007-11-26T22:58:00.000-05:00

Nobody likes the team color Orange...except when it's beating Steve Spurrier and giving him the longest losing streak in his entire college coaching career. HAH! Sorry, Uncle Pat. This really has nothing to do with betraying my Gamecock upbringing. It has everything to do with Spurrier and my fondness for watching him turn red and throw his visor. Whether its a blue/orange visor or a burgundy/black one matters little at this point. Besides, if Georgia hadn't lost so terribly to Carolina, we'd probably be going to the SEC championship. :)

In further Orange-hating, let's talk about some Vols and Wildcats. Four overtimes and still a no go on a trip to the Georgia Dome for UGA. That's ok. Even though the BCS is lame, we still have a #4 ranking. Weird. I'm not really sure how we ended up the highest ranked SEC team, but I won't be arguing.

THANKS

2007-11-26T22:53:00.001-05:00

A New York/New Jersey Thanksgiving. Me love some Karen, her fam, and HDSers.

It's Snowing!

2007-11-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

Well, sort of, anyway. More like rain/slush/snow. Too bad I've decided I'm not too fond of snow.

Overnight

2007-11-19T23:52:00.000-05:00

I completed my first overnight shift at the Brigham this morning, and I must say it was an amazing and exhilarating experience. Of course, that may be the sleep deprivation talking. I have been awake most of the last 36 hours and counting. Not only did I manage to not say anything horribly stupid in the presence of suffering people, but I feel in my heart of hearts that I ministered (yes, really, ministered) to one family in particular as they lost their beloved matriarch.

I don't often talk of the Holy Spirit these days. Perhaps I don't want to offend or it just seems out of place in the sterile halls of the hospital or the academic halls of Harvard. I have to say that I truly felt God in that hospital room. I saw God in the other chaplain with me and in the family members surrounding me and the bodily vessel that used to hold their mother and their sister and their friend. It's the kind of thing I should notice a hundred times a day, but that I rarely stop long enough to see. It apparently takes death to stop me in my tracks.

A theological education is a strange animal. You can talk all day about God and not get to even a glimpse of God. As fulfilling and enlivening as I find my studies, you can often miss the forest for the trees.

In those vigil hours before the sun came up, as I stood over a woman during the hour of her death, I felt a palpable connection to God in so many directions. I felt that it wasn't about me being in the room. I was merely a vessel and a channeling presence for aiding in a sacred space, a space for mourning and grief and love to be spoken.

I'm not one for proof-texting, but I understand that verse in Matthew 10 so much more, the one where Jesus says not to worry about what to say because it will not be you who is speaking, but the Holy Spirit speaking through you. O.k., so he was talking about when you're arrested and asked to testify about your faith, but some might say being cross-examined by a grieving family isn't much better.

Also, in trying to stay awake, I found a typo in the Book of Common Prayer. I was sort of proud.

And on that unrelated note, I'm going to bed.

Jinxed

2007-11-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

Spoke, or wrote, too soon....TN 25, Vandy 24. As my high school English teacher, Mrs. Starkey, used to say, "Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and nuclear war." And bocce ball. Gotta love bocce ball.

UGA SEC

2007-11-17T16:04:00.001-05:00

The fact Tennessee is losing to Vandy right now is making me very, very happy.

Fall in New England

2007-11-16T21:52:00.000-05:00

Maine

2007-11-16T20:49:00.000-05:00

Women Church festivities

Overdue Pics from On the Charles Regatta

2007-11-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

In a strange twist, I walked across the bridge to snap these photos right as the Clemson Tigers were passing. I didn't even know Clemson would be there, but I found that fact pretty serendipitous. I might have grown up a Gamecock and become a Bulldawg, but the Tigers still brought me a little closer home in New England.

Watch

2007-11-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

The previously mentioned episode of Carter Can, featuring Warren Village airs this week on HGTV:

November 15, 2007 8:30 PM ET/PT

November 16, 2007 12:30 AM ET/PT

November 17, 2007 11:30 AM ET/PT

Watch it, because (not to be biased or anything) Warren Village is awesome. Since I hid from the cameras the entire week they were filming, and only enjoyed the craft table, I will probably not be making my reality show debut.

Even if you don't care to see a heartwarming tale of carpenters fixing up spaces for low-income, single-parent families, you should watch it just because Carter is, well, hot...in a hair-gelled, male model kind of way.

Nothing like a bunch of hunky carpenters to make life at an apartment complex for single parents (i.e. mostly moms) more exciting.

Jamie is a stud

2007-10-31T21:51:00.000-04:00

My friend met Chuck Norris. Isn't she cool?

Dude

2007-10-31T21:27:00.000-04:00

It's an odd experience to be at Harvard, for many reasons, but today it is:

To sit in a chapel and read Ralph Waldo Emerson's Divinity School Address--only it is the chapel where he gave the address.

To sit in a Div School lecture room and discuss Paul Tillich's Dynamics of Faith only to realize he might have lectured on the same topic, in the same building, while he was writing the book.

To sit in the Loker Room at Widener Library with its huge ornate Tiffany-blue ceiling (which I love) and realize the funds for the library were given because its namesake died on the Titanic.

To walk around campus and see hundreds of haphazard flyers for lectures and speeches available to you--only the speakers and presenters happen to be Presidents of other nations, Award-winning writers, and some of the greatest thinkers of the day.

To know that the halls and pathways you walk are generally the same as the ones walked by seven Presidents, over 50 Nobel Prize winners, at least 30 Pulitzer Prize winners, a host of congressmen, justices, and professors, as well as a litany of amazing artists and thinkers of all kinds.

With all of Harvard's baggage, it still remains an absolutely awe-inspiring place to be, a place where you are daily reminded that we are all part of history.

Note to Bostonians

2007-10-31T21:14:00.000-04:00

Perhaps, just perhaps, when driving, one should yield to oncoming traffic when making a left-hand turn. As I have not read the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles Handbook, I cannot definitely say, but I would hazard to guess that trying to swerve before getting T-boned is not the Commonwealth's driving policy. Futhermore, I do know that it is state law to stop for pedestrians in crosswalks, and there is a subsequent fine for failing to do so. Therefore, when said person is in crosswalk, it may behoove you to get off your cell phone, quit speeding and attempt not to run over them. Lastly, honking your horn incessantly while sitting in a traffic jam is not going to make the cars in front of you move. Period.

One Out of Two Ain't Bad

2007-10-28T19:03:00.001-04:00

Despite Holliday's much-needed home run last night, the Rockies still weren't able to make a comeback. I, of course, was being quietly loyal to the team in honor of my former residence and my Emily. Let me emphasize the "quietly" part--Red Sox fans are certifiable. I was not about to yell too loudly in a room full of red and green. Whenever I cheered at the wrong times, I tried to make up for it by saying I didn't like the Yankees. Nobody spit on me. For Boston, I took this as good will.

All this disappointment was eased by Georgia's earlier and seriously amazing win over Florida. I was trying not to be too upset at missing the World's Largest Cocktail Party again. Having long thought the Gators were a Croc, I was even more proud to see the Dawgs pull this decisive win than I was for the momentous 2004 game I attended. More importantly, I don't think the team has played with so much heart in over a year. Saturday was the Georgia Football I love. So after beating last year's national champs, suddenly UGA is smack in the top ten and back in the unpredictable SEC East race. I'm not going to lie and say I understand what the heck is going on, or why we're ranked above TN or S. Carolina (boo to Spurrier) still...but it sure is nice to be wearing red and black this weekend.

Erin's Wedding

2007-10-13T13:29:00.000-04:00

Took a trip down to the Carolinas last weekend. Seriously, this wedding was SO MUCH FUN--almost as amazing as the couple themselves. It was great to see family and old friends. Many blessings to Jon and Erin, who are at this moment off to New Zealand!!! And Erin, my friend of 17 years, I know you are old and married now, but I will still remind you (as if you forget anything) about time-traveling magic bottle babies, OM, sleepovers, Eagles, trips to the SC state fair, brass best friend necklaces, church camp, our lunch table, keyboarding class, proms, and a thousand other things.

The New Gig

2007-10-13T12:38:00.000-04:00

Good news! I just started my field education for the year. I am a chaplaincy intern at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. It's a Harvard Teaching Hospital and an amazing facility that this year was ranked one of the top-ten hospitals nationwide for U.S. News & World Report. I need much prayer for many reasons, but especially because: (1) I have no idea what I am doing and (2) I need to be there to provide whatever comfort that is possible and wanted for patients (obviously) who are going through so much. It is slightly intimidating to offer what little spiritual support I can. Please pray! :)

P.S. The stained glass above is from the Brigham's Chapel, which is also where we lead interfaith services.

Silly Roommates

2007-10-13T12:35:00.000-04:00

Hey US-2s...here are some more of my late-night "artsy" pics!

Jim Wallis is my professor

2007-09-27T21:59:00.000-04:00

Course Listing: 2520 Faith and Politics: Should they mix and how?

Surreal.

Good Thing I Like to Read

2007-09-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

Three classes and 39 books

Even in all my English major procrastination, I don't think I have ever uttered the phrase, "I have to go read a book or two tonight."

Until Now.

Support the Jena Six

2007-09-20T23:18:00.000-04:00

LA Times article for overview

BBC article on today's rallies

Second BBC article

http://www.jenasix.org/

Today's rallies and the national spotlight on this case come swiftly in the wake of the West Virginia atrocity. These incidents, as well as many more that go unspoken, give new evidence to support the fact that, though we have come so far, we have far to go.

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." -MLK

"History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people." -MLK

The Hood

2007-09-18T23:07:00.001-04:00

Brian's Tape Job

2007-09-18T23:04:00.001-04:00

Very thorough, I must say. :) But no screws came loose (except in my head) and nothing broke along the way, so I can't complain.

Wonderfully Exhausted

2007-09-11T22:48:00.000-04:00

I am still alive! I did not collapse under the pressure. Yet. I actually enjoyed my first day. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I am losing brain function now though. Sleep is going to be good.

I feel like a first grader

2007-09-10T21:48:00.001-04:00

But I'm in the 17th grade. I start orientation at Harvard Divinity tomorrow morning! Yikes! I'm a little nervous...and excited...and nervous some more. I feel entirely unprepared. I also need to post some pics of the neighborhood and my new digs, which I will do tomorrow.

This Girl Has Gotten Enough Grief...

2007-09-07T21:44:00.001-04:00

But she went to my high school. I meant to post this last week as a representation of my fine South Carolina education.

Which came first--the chicken or the egg?

2007-09-06T22:09:00.001-04:00

Which is worse--packing or unpacking? I am beginning to loathe cardboard boxes. And assembly required furniture. And downsizing to a tiny, tiny space.

Nonetheless, the apartment and the roommates are great. Unpacking stinks. There are no words to describe my current level of moving intolerance.

The Great American Road Trip Finale

2007-09-01T23:19:00.000-04:00

We have arrived. Thank you, Jesus. I am going to sleep for the next 48 hours.

Niagara Falls

2007-08-31T23:08:00.001-04:00

Rainbows, Rainbows Everywhere

2007-08-31T23:05:00.000-04:00

This One's for the Canadian Stevie Wonder

2007-08-31T23:00:00.001-04:00

Ok, Stephen, you can't tell, thanks to mom's photog skills, but I am totally pointing at Canada across the Falls. And yes, I even caught a shot of the elusive black squirrel.

For My Emily

2007-08-30T22:57:00.000-04:00

Ten States So Far...Four in One Day...Yuck

2007-08-30T22:51:00.000-04:00

Get Your Kicks on...

2007-08-29T23:20:00.000-04:00

Creepy

2007-08-29T23:18:00.000-04:00

This kid is part of the display at the Route 66 Museum in Elk City, Oklahoma.

Mecca

2007-08-29T00:39:00.000-04:00

We found a Waffle House--the first I've seen in six months. It only took 703 miles. Excuse me, ma'am, I'll have a patty melt plate, scattered, covered and smothered. God bless Amarillo, Texas.

Santa Fe

2007-08-29T00:34:00.000-04:00

Land of Enchantment?

2007-08-28T03:02:00.000-04:00

This is a copy of the Falling Rock signs I saw along I-25 in New Mexico today. I happen to think this is hilarious...and disturbing. What ever happened to just saying "Falling Rock?" Come to think of it, what's the point of falling rock signs anyway? It's not like they would prepare me for dodging a boulder hurling down a mountain towards my car.

Also want to say hello to Laura R.! So sorry that I am so close and not getting to Albuquerque. The other 2,300 miles await. I'm going to try to find some green chile (sp?) tomorrow....

Happy Birthday Sonny

2007-08-28T02:54:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting here on my bed at the Santa Fe Holiday Inn. I'm drinking a Coors Light in honor of Sonny. He would have been 61 today, and he would have loved to have made this trip with us. He would have loved Colorado so much, and it makes me sad that, in this life, he never got to visit me out West. I'm sure he would have hated Boston and all the "Yankees," but he would have been proud of me nonetheless. Cheers.

Sonny Reese

my dad

August 27, 1946--May 9, 2004

Couldn't Resist

2007-08-27T02:45:00.000-04:00

This is Brian's doing. He made my mom and I a goody basket for our big road trip. It's full of lots of healthy snacks and water and magazines. If you look carefully, you'll see that one side has "Mom" stuff, including Woman's Day and Real Simple. I'm still in shock that big, straight and manly Georgia boys are capable of such Martha Stewart tendencies. To quote my mom: "What a nice, thoughtful young man. Too bad you're leaving him here." Yeah, Mom. Rub it in.

Moving

2007-08-27T02:02:00.000-04:00

I thought I was living the simple life of a missionary with my humble apartment two blocks from Colfax. That is, I thought that, until I had to pack up all my crap to move 2,500 miles. Again.

I must give a shout out to Brian and Stephen, with support from Alyssa and Em, for helping load all my worldy possessions. Really, thank you boys for helping me out...and um, for getting along with each other. :) I am so blessed to have two amazing, upstanding guys in my life.

New Blog

2007-08-08T16:25:00.000-04:00

I'll be ceasing to post on "Girl on a Mission" very soon, as this girl is taking on a new mission. This fall, I'll be matriculating at Harvard Divinity School, leaving behind the missionary post I've had for two years. Of course, all Christians are called to be ministers and missionaries, apostles and disciples. I'll still be a commissioned missionary, but this time my commissioning is by God alone, and not the General Board of Global Ministries of the United Methodist Church. This new blog, aptly titled "Carry On," will be dedicated to all the new adventures that are yet to come.